is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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