Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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