I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You ate ashes out of my bong
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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