I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Welp...herpes.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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