am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
false alarm. still invincible.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
