whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You need a sexual gate keeper
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
