Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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