dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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