Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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