I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize