You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
