Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
