he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize