i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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