You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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