i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So much rum. So many feels.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
