how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
