a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
