and you said cock pushups were impossible
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
