remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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