apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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