you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
