Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize