so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
