No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize