You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
