Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
