she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
