Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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