i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
These tits shall not be calmed
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
