Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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