And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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