is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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