after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
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OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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