my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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