Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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