Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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