just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
