Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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