Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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