I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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