ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
