where am i from again
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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