singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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