Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize