me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
