Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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