I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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