and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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