I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
