bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
