If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
