I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
