i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
