If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
