So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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