May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I love you. Go after that dick
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
